we broke up. so sad. we're both sad. it was a living hell this dusk. it's getting worse when i woke up this morning. called him instantly, and cried on the phone. he feels messed up himself. but since it's for the good of both of us, cant really insist on saying no. so sad. very very sad.. missing him a lot now :'(

uhuhuhu kangen ficky!!!! orang2 tuh yg udah menghibur, dari mulai caca, marisa, mbak feni [my own supervisor at work!], jennifer, efi, sampe tonny!! feeling better, but really not on my best. belom lagi mama tau tadi pagi, and she went furious about knowing that i broke her trust. we had one of our biggest fight, but ended up crying together. she understands.

how God has been faithfull to me, even though i'm on my wearies hours. somehow i can tell, that thins gonna end up beautifully for me.

we still care for each other for sure. the details?? well, we both agree that if anyone ever ask us the details, we'll just say to them.. that it's none of their fuckin' business.

:: Pink Martini // Hang On Little Tomato ::
the song, accompanied my broken hearted...

The sun has left and forgotten me
It’s dark, I cannot see
Why does this rain pour down
I’m gonna drown
In a sea
Of deep confusion

Somebody told me, I don’t know who
Whenever you are sad and blue
And you’re feelin’ all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside and you will find

You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it’s dark
And not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love

Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you’ll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something’s coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to his advice
When change is hard and not so nice
You listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you